


Blending Blue

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Baking, F/M, Post-Sburb, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Pseudo-Incest, Talking, discussions about what to do after becoming gods and creating a universe, no seriously there is so much of it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-05-23 15:18:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6120688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Jane come to terms with life after Sburb, and also their growing relationship. (i'm sorry i had no idea how to write that sentence without sounding as melodramatic as hell)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waking Up

Your name is John Egbert and you are in your room. This is of great confusion to you given that the last thing you remember is walking through the door to the universe you and your friends created. This is of greater confusion to you when you notice that your room looks exactly as it did when you turned 13 without the extension Rose made at the beginning, and with everything looking intact (you swear that if there are scrawlings all over your posters that your subconscious is repressing, you’ll scream). In your state of confusion, you decide to see what else had changed, and while looking out the window, you notice that it appears to be autumn, instead of spring, like when you entered. You decide to try and explore the rest of your house and figure out what exactly is going on.

You immediately stop when you enter the hallway. Although this may look like your house, there are too many differences. For one, the painting of a harlequin in the hall seems to have been replaced with that of some random douchebag. There’s also another door in the hall on the way to the balcony, one that wasn’t there in your house. You cautiously open the door, belatedly realizing that you don’t seem to have any of your items from the game, so you are essentially defenseless, aside from your God Tier powers, but you don't want to use those just yet, lest you cause some unnecessary damage. It occurs to you that noticing this would have been a lot more helpful before you went in and hey is that Jane.

She appears to still be sleeping. You have to admit, you don’t know all that much about her. After all, you only met for about a day and you didn’t really get a chance to talk to her, but she did heal you during the final battle, so you suppose you’re grateful for that. You have to say, you’re a little bit uncomfortable given that she’s basically your grandma?You don’t really want to wake her up, because she looks really peaceful while sleeping and you spend a little too long looking at the adorable smile on her face, but you decide that figuring out what exactly is going on is more important, so you shake her shoulder until her eyes flutter open.

“Huh? Where- Oh, hello John!”

“hi jane. i don’t suppose this is your room?” 

“Why, you would be correct in your assumption. Would you mind telling me what’s going on? The last thing I remember is stepping through the door.” 

“i don’t know all that much more than you honestly, cause i just woke up myself. but i guess that this is the reward we get for beating the game, right?” 

“That would make sense, although I must confess I was expecting something a little more… exciting.” 

“yeah, i know what you mean. it’s a bit disappointing that we basically just got what we had before, but i guess things could’ve been worse. anyways, you wanna check out the rest of my… uh _our_ house i guess?” 

“Sure! Just give me a second to get my things in order. It appears that the game emptied out our sylladices when we went through the door, and I’d really rather be safer than sorry.” 

“yeah, i’ll go get my stuff too. meet you in the living room?” 

“Sounds like a plan!”

You feel a little silly that you decided to go out without at least equipping yourself, so the first thing you do when you go back into your room is finding your hammer and allocating it to your strife specibus. You check pesterchum on your computer, but it appears that no one else is online. Speaking of which, can you even still contact the trolls? You’re not really sure, given that you don’t know if they’re even on Earth, since the game probably would’ve left them on a new Alternia. You then take a deep breath, and then head out down the stairs to the living room, where Jane is standing with a perplexed look on her face and what the fuck is this. Why is there a taxidermied corpse of some old guy who looks kinda familiar to you in front of the fireplace.

“uh jane, who’s this guy and why is he here?” 

“Well, he’s my poppop. As for why he’s here, it’s because he asked to be stuffed and put here in his will." 

“wait, so he’s…me?” 

“In a manner of speaking, I suppose. On another note, what’s this perplexing small jar doing here? I don’t remember anything like it.” 

“oh that’s the urn with nanna’s ashes, so…i guess it’s your ashes? man this is kinda unsettling." 

“I concur. I wanted to move poppop up to the attic but…dad…"

You both look at each other, instantly realizing that you both have no idea where your fathers are. Well, at least Jane doesn’t. You know exactly where your dad is, or was, but you hope that the game was kind enough to bring him back. You think about meeting your dad again, and maybe apologizing for not being able to stop Noir, and him telling you "DON'T WORRY SON, I FORGIVE YOU, AND I STILL LOVE YOU". This thought mildly comforts the butterflies in your stomach as you both silently walk toward your dads’ room and knock on the door. Your face falls when you see that the man standing at the doorway isn’t your dad. He looks very much like your father (in fact it's almost unsettling how much), but you just know that he isn’t. Jane’s face, however lights up when she sees him and she immediately walks over and grabs him.

“Dad, I…I...Oh my God, you're alive! I missed you so much!” 

“I MISSED YOU TOO, JANE. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR BEATING THAT GAME.”

You kinda just stand around awkwardly, feeling jealous of Jane because she got her guardian back and you didn’t. But then you stop this thought and feel bad because you know it’s not her fault. Speaking of her, she seems to have remembered that you were there, and has pulled herself away from your father, and is looking at you, her bright blue eyes full of compassion. 

“Oh, John, dear, I’m so sorry for being so rude when your father is…well…”

“no, it’s fine. you shouldn’t be letting me drag down your reunion with your dad. i guess i… just hoped that the game would maybe give something back for everything we’ve done for it.”, saying that last sentence with more bitterness than you realized you felt. Without another word she reaches over and puts her arms around you, and starts whispering comforting things in your ear, but you’re only half listening because holy cow does she smell good. She smells like cookies and batter and frosting and she's murmuring that she'll always be there if you need to talk to someone, and you think that maybe, just maybe, this won't be so bad.


	2. Baking a Cake

Your name is Jane Crocker, and you have just beaten Sburb and have arrived in the new universe, which is very similar to yours, right down to the day being the same one you left your world on, November 11th. You manage to get in contact with everyone over pesterchum eventually. It turns out that they all seem to be in a similar situation as you guys, with Rose and Roxy in New York, Dave and Dirk in Houston, and Jade and Jake on their island in the pacific, with each of their dwellings being altered to accommodate them all. It also turns out that the game brought back all of your friends’ guardians: Jake’s grandma, Roxy’s mom, and Dirk’s bro. Although you're glad that your friends are finally getting to meet their guardians (or reuniting with, in Jake’s case), you suspect that the game may have had a different motive behind this windfall. To put it bluntly, you are all loaded. Between your poppop's fortune from Crockercorp that you are the heir to (which you hope will not involve being the unwitting pawn of a genocidal space queen this time around), Jake’s grandma’s tech company, Roxy’s mom’s book series, and Dirk’s bro’s film job, none of you are really going to need to worry about money all that much anymore. This is nice you suppose, because it’ll make it easier for you guys to organize meet-ups instead of being forced to only communicate via the Internet. You also suppose that there has been enough exposition going on, and that we ought to move on to much more important matters: school!

“School!?”

“YES, YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY. JUST BECAUSE YOU ALL CREATED A UNIVERSE DOESN’T MEAN YOU DON’T STILL NEED TO LEARN!SO YOU ARE GOING TO SCHOOL ON THIS MONDAY AND THAT IS FINAL! THAT APPLIES TO YOU TOO JOHN, AS LONG AS YOU ARE STAYING IN THIS HOUSE, YOU WILL NOT FALL BACK ON YOUR EDUCATION!”

Your father then walked out of the room, presumably to do some father-like things after having been kept away from them due to his imprisonment on Derse (possibly washing the car), leaving you and John together.

“well, that’s lame.”

“It can’t be helped, I suppose. It’d probably be for the best if we just tried to act normally and tried to keep our powers and anything about the game concealed.”

“so, uh…school.”

“Yes. That.”

“what are we going to do? i mean, jade taught me a bunch of stuff when we were on the ship for three years, but i don’t know what’s going on now! what if we walk in and we have a huge test in every class and we fail! wait, how will we even know where our classes are! what if we walk in to english and they say, ‘who are you’ and then kick us out!”

“John. Nothing of the sort will occur. Or at the very least, nothing we won’t be prepared for.”

“how do you know?”

“Because of my incredibly astute detecting skills. Specifically, the detecting skills that allowed me to notice the two backpacks in varying shades of blue by the door, containing what we can probably assume to be some clues regarding our schedules and assignments.”

John then looks a bit sheepish at having panicked over nothing. You decide that he looks a bit cute like that, with his dorky grin, and you idly notice that it’s the same sort of thing that first drew you to Jake. You also decide that his dimples are particularly cute, along with the way that the edges of his deep blue eyes crinkle. But of course you only notice these things in a completely friendly, possibly maternal(grandmaternal?) fashion. That is the only manner in which your observations are made, and we are utterly convinced of that. However, in ensuring that we are completely aware of the feelings behind your thoughts, you have tuned out of the conversation, and appear to have missed something John said. 

“uh, jane?”

“Oh! Yes, dear? You said something?”

“i was just saying that we should probably check out our backpacks.”

“Right. That is a thing we should do, posthaste!”

You walk over to what you presume to be your backpack, and inspect the contents. It appears to contain the standard items one would expect: binders, notebooks, and an agenda, which, if it’s anything like agendas you had previously, will contain your schedule along with whatever homework you have. With some apprehension, you open the agenda to the current week, and to your surprise, it appears that you had end-of-unit tests today in every class (which is definitely not something that occurred in your original universe). As such, you do not have any homework this weekend! Looking over at John’s wide grin (which again, is only noticed in a platonic manner) you again make use of your exceptional deductive powers to conclude that he also has a free itinerary for this weekend.

“So, I assume that you also are assignment-free this weekend?”

“yeah! this is going to be so awesome! what should we do first!”

“Well, I propose we celebrate our short respite before the toil of education begins.”

“and how exactly are we going to do that?”

“By baking, of course! I believe a nice cake should do just fine.”

“oh, cool.”

“…Is there something wrong?”

“well…it’s just that you better not use any of the batterwitch’s stuff!”

“Oh my goodness John!”, you exclaim while jokingly slapping your hands on either side of your face. “I am insulted that you would think that the heiress to Crockercorp would be incapable of baking a mere cake from scratch!”

“my humblest apologies, my excellency,” said John, dropping into a mock bow. “i truly have no idea what i was thinking when i implied such a blasphemous idea.”

“I will accept your apology, so long as you assist the heiress in the preparation of the baked dessert.”

“i believe i can do that, my lady.”

You both giggle as you head to the kitchen. Yes, you must admit that you are much more at ease with the idea of living with this boy than you were when you first woke up.

—

After some time you finish preparing the cake, putting the cake in the oven, and are just about done preparing the frosting bowl. Suddenly, you hear the oven ding, and grab your oven mitt to take the cake out. 

“Okay, now all that’s left to do is to frost the cake- John, what are you doing?”, you say as you see him reach into the frosting bowl with his bare hand (which better have been washed, or else someone is going to have a vicious spoon drubbing). 

“aw, come on, i just wanted to try some of it.”

“You can try some of it, after we’ve frosted the cake with it! Now go wash your hand!”

“fine.”

However, he doesn’t walk toward the sink, but instead towards you, looking down at his frosting-covered hand with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Oh no. He better not be thinking what you think he’s thinking.

“but maybe…you’d like to try some of it first ;)”

He is totally thinking what you think he’s thinking.

“Confound it John, don’t you dare-“

Your statement is cut short by him dragging his hand over your face, smearing it with frosting, raising his prankster’s gambit at your expense. So, that was how it was going to be, huh? Well, two can play at that game. You put both of your hands on your face, and start grimacing.

“Agghh!”

“huh? what’s wrong, jane?”

“I…Arrgh…I think some of it got in my eye!”

“oh geez, i swear i didn’t mean for that to happen,” says John as he steps towards you. Perfect, you think to yourself. You look up at him, smirking as the realization dawns on him. Before he is able to get away, you return the favor and also cover his face with icing.

“okay, that was a cheap shot.”

“I’m afraid that all’s fair in love and war, dear.”

“okay, how about we call a truce on the japes and jokes until after we finish the cake. then, i'll challenge you to the greatest prank war ever, miss crocker. it will involve all of the pranks. all of them.”

“I accept your challenge, Mr. Egbert!”

You set to work on frosting the cake, but your mind seems to have different ideas, given that you seem to keep on thinking back to when you touched John’s face and when he touched yours, and that you wouldn't mind doing that again without any frosting to get in the way. But, you immediately dismiss these thoughts. It was probably just you being a normal teenage girl with normal teenage hormones, along with the fact that he shared about 50% of his DNA with a boy you did like at one point, and might not be entirely over. Yes, you think as you cut the cake, that must be it.


	3. Late Night Conversation

You are sitting on the couch with Jane, exhausted after having proceeded to have one of the greatest prank wars in all of paradox space. She was a wily one, that Crocker, using everything in her arsenal, from an incredibly silly mustache to a pie in the face, but in the end, she conceded defeat to your superior prankmanship after you pulled your one last trick: the classic bucket over ther door trap. With soaked clothes and a metal bucket on her head, she admitted the fact that John Egbert cannot be defeated in a prank war, and that he is simply the best there is. You look over at the clock, wondering how late it could be, given how tired you feel. It appears that you wasted exactly four hours on this tomfoolery. Jane appears to share in your exhaustion, as she appears to be quite sleepy as well.

“it’s kinda late, do you think we should go sleep?”

“In a minute, John. There’s….Well, there are some things I feel I need to talk about now, or else I don't think I'll be able to sleep.”

“oh, um, ok. what do you wanna talk about?”

“Well, to put it bluntly, I’m really nervous John!”

“nervous? about what?”

“Well, it’s just, what are we going to do now?”

“uh, live our lives i guess? what else would we do?”

“But how? How are we supposed to live our lives, knowing what we did? How do we just go back to living on Earth, after having fought so hard to make sure that when it was created, it wasn’t going to be controlled by a genocidal alien queen. Plus, we aren’t the same as everyone else. We’re gods! What do we do if we just never grow old, and are just stuck forever?”

You haven’t really been thinking about those things to be honest. You guess you’ve just kinda been distracted by doing stuff with Jane. Speaking of her, she's looking over at you, her eyes full of fear and apprehension about the future. You wonder if this is what has been going on through her mind since you both woke up. You quickly try to think of something to say to try and calm her fears.

“i think it’ll be ok. i mean, even if we are just immortal and live forever, we’ll always have each other, right?”, you say while gently grabbing her hand to emphasize the fact that she’s not alone. You’re pretty sure that’s what you’re supposed to do when a friend is experiencing an existential crisis. Judging by the the small smile on her face, your attempt appears to have been successful.

“Well, I suppose there are worse people to spend eternity with.”

“plus, maybe we could tell everyone about how the universe was created! and we could also tell them that we have powers and stuff!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We’ll either be dismissed as crackpots, or we’ll constantly be hounded by the media, and after 16 years of being the heiress to a massive company, I can say that it’s not very fun.”

“well, maybe we could be superheroes! i mean, we basically already have our costumes!”

“I’m pretty sure that the police would not appreciate some kids enacting vigilante justice, regardless of how your movies seem to romanticize it, John.”

“but jane.”

“What?”

“we could all be batman.”

“John, that is incred-“

“do you really want to deny ourselves the chance at being batman? are you really that cruel?”

“Dang it John! That is incredibly silly and you know that!”, she says, unsuccessfully trying to hide her smile.

You both sit quietly for a bit. Jane scooches over a bit and idly lays her head on your shoulder. This is a little too intimate for your liking, but you don’t say anything.You figure it’s probably just because she’s tired. You break the silence however.

“y’know, there’s another thing i was kinda worried about.”

“What’s that?”

“school!”

“What about school? Do you not like the classes?”

“no, it’s just…i was just never really all that good at making friends in school. i mean, there were people i didn’t mind hanging out with, but the only people i could really say were my friends would be rose, dave, and jade.”

“Really? But…I mean, you’re so outgoing! I mean, you’re always really cheerful and nice!”

You blush a little at how highly Jane seems to think of you.

“oh…um…thanks.”

“Oh dear, did I embarrass you? I swear I didn’t mean to.”

“no, i’m fine. i’m just…kinda flattered i guess. i mean, we barely know each other!”

“Well, yes, but I really seem to be getting the impression that you’re just as nice as Nannasprite…well, Nannasprites, told me you would be. I can’t seem to find the words to explain it, but goofing around today was really fun, almost as if I were spending time with my poppop!”

“oh yeah, i forgot that you were with nanna. this might be kind of awkward, but what was it like? meeting yourself?”

“Well, it was kind of weird, but also kind of neat. She seemed to have enjoyed her life, even if I couldn’t really imagine just opening a joke shop. I think I have bigger plans than that, but I feel like meeting her and about the tough circumstances she had growing up made me feel a lot better about myself. Oh, but look at how self-centered I’m being, dragging the conversation away from you and school! So tell me, how come you seem to have problems with talking to people at school, if you don’t consider that too intrusive?”

“well, i dunno, i just had a hard time opening up i guess. it was easier to say stuff over the internet than talk to others. but i think it’s all good now. if those three years on the battleship did anything besides boring the fuck out of me, it was making it easier to talk.”

“I see. Well, I’m kinda flattered that you’re opening up to me about something so personal!”

“well, for some reason i feel just as comfortable around you as i do with my friends. probably because you’re a lot like my nanna.”

“Well, I would certainly hope so. Hoo hoo!”

“yeah, but, i dunno... i feel like it’s something a little more than that. eh whatever, enough about me. how about you? what’s school like to you?”

“Me? Well…”

Jane looks away from your gaze. She says something that’s too low for you to catch.

“what was that?”

“I said…I didn’t really like school.”

“why not?"

“Well, I was the heiress to Crockercorp. That meant that I’d either get constantly assailed by flatterers who wanted wealth and a piece of the Crockercorp pie, or there’d be the people who hated me just because I was the heiress. Like you, I…couldn’t really make any friends off the internet."

“holy crap, that sounds awful.”

“That wasn’t it though. These weren’t common, but there were…assassination attempts. They happened pretty much everywhere I went out, but since most of the time it was school, that’s where it happened most.. I was always really glad to get home and be able to talk to my friends.” She looks at you with a sort of haunted glint in her eyes that looks disturbingly like it had been on her in a long time.

“wow, now i feel kinda lame for worrying you with my problems, when you had it so much worse, i mean, are you ok? were you ever hurt or anything?”

“John, your problems deserve just as much attention as mine. Really, I was never hurt too badly, because GCat always seemed to be around to keep from really getting injured.”

However, the nonchalance of her words is betrayed by the fact that her eyes are staring off distantly, probably lost in some painful memory. You really wish you could make her feel better instantly, but you get the impression that this probably something that’ll take time to move past, and going to school as a normal high-schooler should help with that. You and Jane fall into another silence, but you’re oddly okay with that. You don’t really know how long you two sit like that, with her leaning against you, but it seems like a while. You’re about to suggest that you both go to sleep, but she starts to speak.

“John…”

“yeah?”

“Never mind, I was just thinking something silly.”

“hey, it’s fine! say what you were going to say.”

“No, really it’s fine.”

“No, c’mon, i wanna hear what you were going to say! i swear i won’t laugh or anything.”

“Oh, well…you know how we’re basically going to be staying together for the near future…”

“yes?”

“And it'd be mighty suspicious at school for two teenagers to just happen to live together..."

“i suppose...”

“So maybe we could pretend to be siblings? Just to avoid awkward questions, I mean."

You think about it for a second. You must admit it sort of makes sense after all, because it would probably be rather difficult to explain why you're staying with her, and why you look so alike any other way. You also admit it's a lot less uncomfortable than thinking of her as your mom, as you recall Dave's cringe-inducing slips. So yeah. Jane Crocker. Now your sister. You get a weird feeling in your stomach, but you figure you'll have to get over it to maintain the facade.

“well, i guess that makes sense. i mean, if we're not going to talk about the game, and with all of the ectobiology bullshit, this is probably the best way to go about it. no big deal, right?”

“Yes...no big deal. Right. It doesn't really matter."

You don't know Jane all that much, but you're pretty sure you said something wrong.

"uh, jane? are you okay?"

She looks away from your gaze. “I'm fine. It was a silly idea anyways. I mean, we're pretending right?"

"i'm sorry, jane, but i really have no idea what you're trying to say."

She's still ardently focused on staring away from you, but you can see that her ears have gone red.“It was always just a little lonesome, only being able to do pranks and other such activities with my dad, and if he wasn't around then it was just me, and although I had Jake, Roxy, and Dirk, they weren't there in person. I suppose, what I wanted, was well, someone who was actually there, who I could talk to about things, more personal things that I couldn't really say to Dad. And I guess, I was childishly hoping you'd fill that role. But that's rather unfair of me isn't it? To expect someone who I barely know to just suddenly fill that slot."She looks at you with a smile on her face, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

You realize you should probably think for a second before responding. “well, i don't see why we couldn't do those things. i mean, today was really fun, right? i wouldn't mind just, y'know, doing that for a while. and well, if you want someone to talk to, well isn't that what we're doing right now?"

"You're really okay with this...arrangement? Even though we've just met?"

"i mean yeah. like i said, i think i like hanging out with you, and as long as we're confessing things, i admit that i kinda wanted someone else to...be close to about feeling and stuff, also."

She smiles again, but this time you can see the corners of her eyes crinkle. “Thank you, John. That…really means a lot to me.”

“well, don’t thank me yet. first, we have to make it official!”

“Official? Do we need to go to city hall or something?”

“no, silly. we need to have a sibling hug!”

“Hoo hoo, oh John, whatever have I gotten myself into?"

You reach to put your arms around Jane, and she reaches out to grasp you as well. Suddenly, all the emotions from the game, all the friends you met that died, all the pain that you suffered, and all the happiness that you felt after finally winning come back to you, and you grab Jane much much tighter and your eyes are suddenly wet. She also tightens her hold, and when you hear her sniffle a little, you think she’s feeling much the same way you are. You hold each other like that for some time, but eventually your eyelids start to droop, and you try to move, only to find that Jane still has an iron grip on you.

“uh, jane?”

“ZZZZZZZZZZ”

“goddammit, don’t tell me you’re asleep.”

“ZZZZZZZZZZZ”

It appears that she is in fact deeply asleep. You consider trying to move her, but that would probably wake her up. Plus, you are really tired, and Jane is really warm and…surely it wouldn’t be a problem if you just rested for a little bit, right? To get the energy to move. So, you move over so you both have enough space, and you lie on your back. And so, you also fall asleep, still clutching her around your arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 4/14/16: Kinda rewrote some of the end stuff because it was pretty shitty. Also spent some time planning how I want this to go, because it basically just started with "I wanna write a John/Jane fic."


	4. The Next Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more dialogue that is probably ooc, what a surprise

"Yes, this would happen to be quite the simple case, eh? It is as the Americans say, cut and dry, Monsieur English." you say as you twirl your moustache.

"Why yes, that would certainly appear to be the case," says the attractive green-eyed man sitting across from you. Your highly attuned detective senses instantly pick up on the devious mirth he's hiding behind a facade of a congenial grin. You can almost taste the relief he's feeling because he believes he's actually managed to pull the wool over the eyes of the famous detective, Jane Crocker. "But, you see, there is one little point I would like you to clarify, to satisfy my curiosity."

"Oh? And what would it be?"

"Well, the first is as follows: Why did you wish to kill Monsieur Crow?"

"Why...Do you believe I was the culprit? Me? Even though it was shown that it was only Strider's sword that could have done the killing blow, as it was the only double-sided blade?"

"Yes, rather convenient, isn't it? That this Strider, would use the one weapon most likely to trace back to him."

"Well, he's not that all that intelligent, you know? Have you seen his movies? Absolutely dreadful, if I do say so myself."

"Whether or not Monsieur Strider is a fool who does not know irony from simple nonsense is absolutely irrelevant. What is relevant is that, at the time of the murder, there is no possible way that Strider's sword, Caledfwlch as I believe the Welsh call it, could have been used."

"And why the devilfucking dickens not?", screams English, his bizarre accent finally shining through.

"For you see, Caledfwlch was broken in two at the time! It was as about as capable of striking a killing blow as a worm would to a bird. But you see, now I wonder. If it was not this weapon, but the wound was of a two-sided blade, then what else could have done it? And now I realize! What if the murder weapon was in fact one sided, but restabbed after being flipped to make it appear two-sided! And that makes it possible that the other Monsieur Strider's weapon, his katana, was the one that took Crow's life. However, he was definitely at a, “rap-off” I believe is what is the term. at the time of the killing. So the only one who had access to the weapon at the time was you, Monsieur English! 

His eyes, which previously were burning with righteous fury, are now full of sad acceptance. He's smiling in a peculiar way. "So I suppose you figured it out, eh? I suppose I oughtn't have tried to match wits with such a great detective."

" _N'a pas d'importance._ Many people more intelligent than you have fallen to my skills, However, you did not answer my question."

"What would that be?"

"Why would Jake English wish to murder Rambunctio Crow?

"He wouldn't," says English with an odd chuckle. He looks into your eyes, and you immediately notice that his eyes have changed from emerald to sapphire. "But on the other hand, John Egbert would."

" _Mon Dieu!_ It all fits together now!"

"So it does, doesn't it? ...You know, perhaps we could reach an understanding, that perhaps we don't need to share this conversation with the authorities, that we could just leave it as a discussion among friends."

"Oh? And what sort of discussion would it be?"

"Well, that remains to be seen. But you know, Mademoiselle Crocker, you really are something else. Cunning, intelligent, insightful, attractive..." Your face heats up as he leans forward, never looking away from your face, as if he is being entranced. You cannot deny that you feel a little of the same way when you gaze into the swirling skies of his irises.

"Why yes, I believe we could reach an understanding," you say as you grab his shoulders and pull his handsome face onto your lips...

...

"ZZZZZZZZ--huh? What the-JOHN!", you exclaim in surprise.

"Huh? What's going on-oh hey Jane."

"John."

"Jane."

"Why are you lying under me?"

"Why are you lying above me, with your arms around me?"

You realize that you have no response for that. Instead, you hurriedly untangle yourself and scootch to the other side of the couch. 

"Okay, answers time. Why were we sleeping on the couch on top of each other?"

"Well, you must have been really tired, because you kinda fell asleep while your hands were still around me, so I couldn't really get free. And, well, I was going to try and wake you up, but I thought that would be rude--"

"More rude than letting me wake up grabbing another a boy as if-if…”

“As if what?”

“Oh, you know…as if, some unwholesome behavior had occurred!”

“Um, that’s just uh. Kinda weird. ‘Cause of y’know, the whole ectobiological thing.”

“Gee, I wonder why I was so angry about it in the first place!”

“Okay, yeah, I see your point. I’m sorry about that, alright! I guess next time we should probably go to sleep earlier. But in my defense, your womangrit was too great for me to break your hold.”

“John, that is no excuse for that impropriety, and you know it. Honestly. Now, if you will excuse me, I will go get ready for the day."

You then abscond from the room, passing John who appears to have a bemused and slightly hurt expression on his face. Serves him right, you think to yourself savagely. Honestly, didn’t he realize how terrifying it was to wake up in that position? With his face just a few…inches…away….Your face reddens suddenly as you walk into the bathroom and remember the dream you had last night. However, you calm yourself. After all you had had several rather…intimate dreams regarding Jake before. So what if he morphed into John this time. They looked very much alike and you had been spending time with him, so it wasn’t entirely strange that he would appear. Especially because his face had turned out to be about a foot from yours the entire time. Your slightly bewildering and embarrassing dreams put to bed, you go through the rest of your morning routine and breakfast.

“Hello, John. I have decided to forgive you for that transgression. However, if it ever occurs again, then there’s a baking spoon with your name on it, buster!”

“Oh, why thank you, Ms. Crocker. How could I ever repay you for your kindness and fairness.”

“Oh, but of course Mr. Egbert, how could I possibly think otherwise after that completely sincere statement?”

You both can’t help smiling after an exchange like that. You assume that the mockingly-formal shtick will get old at some point, but you don’t think that’ll occur any time soon.

“So, what should we do now, John?”

“Hm, maybe we should check on the culture of this world.”

“I beg your pardon? What exactly do you mean, by “checking on the culture”?

“Well, you know, making sure that we don’t get our facts mixed up. After all, it would be rather embarrassing if it turned out that the movies are completely different here, and then we look silly if we bring up Star Wars when it doesn’t exist.”

“John, that sounds like a thinly-veiled excuse to watch movies.”

“So what if it is.”

“Sigh, I suppose we have the time for that. I guess we’ll just see whatever’s on.”

“Sweet.”

You both sit down on the couch, and John picks up the remote and idly flips through the channels until it gets to a movie that catches his eye. It appears to be some sort of action flick. After watching for a little while, you find yourself bored by the nonsensical story that appears to be little more than an excuse to have large explosions, uninteresting actors, and cheesy dialogue. You look over at John. To your astonishment, he is watching with rapt attention, as if his eyes were glued to the television.

“John.”

“Shh, Jane, I’m trying to hear.”

“John, really, how can you enjoy this film? It is appallingly bad!”

“I refuse to acknowledge your blatant lies as anything more. Look at that main actor and the emotion of his performance.”

“I don’t think his facial expression has changed once the entire time we’ve been watching.”

“That is it. I am no longer hearing any of your uncultured and obviously wrong opinions.”

“Oh, honestly, John, you’re just like Jake! You think that you’re so selective in your movie choices, but you really have no taste!” That came off a little more aggressive than you intended, but thinking about Jake just suddenly made it feel like a hot iron was pressed to your brain. 

“I…um…”

“Oh, I’m sorry, John, I don’t know what came over me. It’s just, we never really concluded the whole Jake fiasco. But I suppose you don’t know all that much about that, do you?”

“Well, um, yeah. All I got was that things were kind of awkward.”

“Awkward…is a bit of an understatement.”

“Alright.”

You both try to get back to watching the movie, but you weren’t paying much attention in the first place, and the conversation you just had has left you a bit rattled. Looking at John, who is determinedly staring at the screen, but not with the interest you saw earlier, you figure he’s just as distracted.

“…Maybe I should explain the whole thing with Jake. If you wouldn’t mind listening, of course.”

“Well, sure! That’s what brothers are for, right?” He flashes you a grin, reminding you of the agreement of sorts you made last night. 

“Well, at the beginning, I had a crush on our good Mr. English. Right now, I honestly am not really sure if it was because I genuinely liked the boy, or because he was the only available one of my friends, that my brain just sort of decided he was the one. But at the time, I was as lovestruck as one of the girls from Dirk’s animes. I was going to tell him about my feelings, but…let’s just say that things kinda got messed up and he started going out with Dirk. When we entered the game, well, Jake was insufferable. Not on purpose of course, but he would constantly message me about what he and Dirk were doing, and was so oblivious…I realized that although he wasn’t a bad person, I had built him up in my head. Right now, I still want to be friends with him, I mean, we’ve known each other for years, but after we god-tiered and the whole mess when I was evil…well things have just been kind of messed up between us, and what really hurts is that he’s been avoiding me. Like, during the battle with those green fellows, even while I brought him back to life, he barely even acknowledged me! That…that really hurts, and I’m not sure whether it’s because I still have lingering feelings for him or because we’ve been friends for so long.” You finally run out of breath, and realize that you should probably let John say something.

“…” He appears to be staring at you with an inscrutable expression. You feel a bit abashed at suddenly loading this all of on him, but you must admit it really does feel nice to have let it out. You figure you should probably say something to end the awkward silence that’s enveloped the room (excluding the movie that’s still playing, of course). 

“Oh my, I really did ramble on there, didn’t I! I seem to have been making a habit of that lately.”

“Oh, no it’s fine! I’m just…thinking. About what I want to say.” He moves a bit closer to you, about a foot away.

“Oh, I see. Well, don’t make me rush you.”

“I mean, you’re doing pretty okay, I think. I don’t know Jake all that well, but I’ pretty sure you guys’ll make up, if you’re as close as me and my firends are. And, regarding your feelings towards him…” He trails off.

“Probably platonic, but a bit confused.”

“Well, I suppose it’s best to be honest about these things, right?”

"I believe I agree with that.”

“Alright, so how was that sibling heart-to-heart?”

You scrunch up your face in mock consideration. “Hmmm… I believe I’d have to give it a 10.”

“Really?”

“Out of a 100.”

‘Oh, screw you, that was totally a perfect 110!”

You both laugh as you return to watching the movie, and although it is still horrendously cheesy, you suddenly find it endearing instead of irritating.


End file.
